In Dr. Tari Mack’s interview we discuss:
- The common themes around communication she sees when she does couples therapy
- How to communicate your needs and feelings to your partner without putting your partner on the defensive
- Tips for how to handle the same conversations/conflicts in a different way
- How each person in the relationship is taking a part in the dynamic that is creating the conflict
- Using I statements as a way to not put your partner on the defensive
- Imago Therapy and how to feel heard in your relationship
- The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse (by John Gottman) and how using criticism, stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt when interacting with your spouse is a predictor of divorce
- Suggestions for how to stay connected to your spouse while dealing with the stress of small children and other household obligations
- Identifying when you’ve been emotionally triggered and what to do about it
Carrie’s favorite quotes from the interview:
“Sometimes we may just need appreciation and acknowledgement.”
“You know you’ve hit a trigger when you go from 0-100!”
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Tari talks motherhood:
What would you tell an expecting mom about the experience of being a mother?
It’s hard. And beautiful. To remember that everything is temporary. No stage is permanent. And things get easier over time!
What is the hardest part about being a mom? Biggest frustrations?
Hard to manage all the competing needs – kids, myself, husband, work, fun, friends, etc etc etc
What is your favorite part about being a mom? What makes all the hard stuff worth it?
Watching my little babies grow into little humans. Discovering who they are. Cuddling and laughing. Daily.
Any tips, tools, and tricks do you use that you’d love to tell other moms about?
Go easy on yourself. There is no such thing as a perfect mom. Just aim to be a good enough mom. You’ll be able to enjoy the experience more fully!
Dr. Tari Mack, Clinical Psychologist and Blogger at The Path of Joy
Dr. Tari Mack is a clinical psychologist and relationship expert. She works with individuals and couples in her private practice and is passionate about helping people find purpose and fulfillment. She loves helping couples deepen their connection with each other and figure out how to move past recurring conflicts. She is a mom to 2 daughters, ages 5 and 2.5. Tari has a blog at www.thepathofjoy.com. She is also writing a book for dating singles about how to find your soulmate and remove your roadblocks to finding love. Stay tuned for that!